


Catman(u) – or, The Unexpected Transformation of a Goalkeeper

by meggiewrites



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: (not of the kinky sort), Animal Transformation, Established Relationship, German National Team, Goalkeeper Shenanigans, Good-Natured Crack, M/M, Magical Realism, Unhelpful teammates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 08:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15457437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggiewrites/pseuds/meggiewrites
Summary: There is a cat on the training pitch. Also, their main goalkeeper is missing. At first, no one notices the correlation between the two.





	Catman(u) – or, The Unexpected Transformation of a Goalkeeper

**Author's Note:**

> Yesterday evening [Cindy](https://marc-ter-stegen.tumblr.com/) texted me to tell me that she was drawing Thomas holding cat!Manu. I got inspired .... and the drabble turned out slightly longer than I intended it to.
> 
> This is for you my friend! I hope you enjoy(ed) it! And [here](https://marc-ter-stegen.tumblr.com/post/176338810997/catmanu-and-thomas) is the drawing that goes along with it. Unbeta'd.

At first, no one notices the cat. Only when Josh almost stumbles over it as it tries to sneak through in between their legs but is slightly too big for, does he yelp “oh my god there’s a cat!”, subsequently drawing all his teammates’ attention on him and said four-legged creature.

It’s a very big cat, of a tan colour that would be called blonde were it human, with white socks and a white circle around its right eye. Clearly displeased, it stares up at Joshua, who still looks quite shocked by the fact that he almost stepped on a giant cat.

“How did a cat get here?” Toni asks, but no one answers.

The cat, after licking the paw Joshua almost stepped on, starts to move again, clearly on a mission. Julian Brandt is the first to try to lean down and pet it, but it only hisses at him, pawing at him with sharp claws. Jule yelps, so no one tries again.

It’s only when the cat reaches Thomas, who has been standing at the very edge of the group, that it sits down on its hind legs. The cat tilts its head, looking up at him, then meows.

When Thomas doesn’t budge, clearly having learned something after Jule’s failed attempt, it meows again before getting up and first tentatively, then more firmly rubs against his legs.

Its fur is soft, and after a couple seconds, Thomas can’t help but grin. “Oh, you’re a cute one though! A bit prickly maybe, but still cute, aren’t you?”

The cat meows again, seemingly pleased, then pushes into the hand Thomas has been hovering just over its head. It purrs when he starts to pet him, but after a minute or so, it quickly shakes its head again, starting to meow again.

“I think it wants to tell us something,” Mats, who is curiously peering over Thomas’ shoulder, says good-naturedly.

Toni rolls his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a cat. It’s probably hungry.”

“She’s so sweet though,” Niklas says, by now having crouched down next to Thomas, petting the cat’s head, who by now looks begrudgingly accepting of the caresses it’s receiving, turning onto its back, exposing an equally fluffy stomach.

“Well, you’re out of luck,” Mats says drily, “Because ‘she’ is a he.”

Nikki at least has the sense to look slightly embarrassed. “Oh sorry,” he says to the cat, but before Toni can remark that the cat doesn’t understand him, the cat meows at him and licks his finger, drawing a delighted giggle from the tall defender.

After having endured the team’s tender loving care for a while, the cat escapes their hands again, again looking for Thomas, who has been observing the whole spectacle quite bemusedly. When he takes a step back, it stubbornly follows him.

“And what is this?”

They all spin around quickly when they hear Jogi’s voice.

“Coach!” Timo says excitedly. “We found a kitten!”

Hardly a kitten, considering his head almost reaches my knee, Thomas thinks, crouching down again. The cat has gotten slightly nervous as soon as Jogi appeared, unsuccessfully hiding behind his legs, so Thomas picks him up.

He huffs when he realizes how heavy it is. When he squirms in his arms, Thomas quickly scratches his head, remembering that it usually calms his dogs down, while murmuring “shh, no worries, that’s only Jogi” into the pet’s twitching ear.

Surprisingly, the cat actually calms down, so he turns around to face his coach.

“He just wandered onto the pitch. We only just noticed him,” Mats explains, having taken a couple steps forward.

Jogi pinches his nose, mumbling something to himself that could, with quite of a stretch, be interpreted as “when will we ever have a quiet day, I swear to god”, before he sighs.

“Müller, go put it down on the sidelines, please. I would have someone take it outside instead, but it’s a cat; if it wants to be here, it will likely always find a way back in.”

Thomas nods, slightly dubious as far as the success of just setting the cat down on the side of the pitch goes, risking injury not only for the cat itself but also the player potentially stumbling over it. But before he can voice his concern, he’s distracted by Andi jogging up to Jogi.

“Jogi, have you seen Manu?”

“Manu?”

Thomas’ stomach jumps a little at the mention of his favourite person in the world.

“Yes, Manu. Our captain. Tall, blond …”

Jogi shoots Andi a Look. “I know who Manuel is. No, I haven’t. Shouldn’t he have reported to you already?”

Andi nods. On the other side of the pitch by the goal, Thomas can see Bernd and Marc warming up already. Normally, he wouldn’t be worried, but now, he remembers precisely how he and Manu had exchanged one last brief peck in a hidden corner of the hallway only minutes ago, just before heading to training.

Considering Manu walked through the door only a couple steps behind him, the fact that he seems to have disappeared into thin air is more than slightly worrying. Of course he can’t tell Jogi that, so he stays quiet while the coach asks one of his junior assistants to go look for their number one, and instead carries the surprisingly docile tomcat to the sidelines.

He puts him down, petting his head one last time. The cat leans into the touch, letting out another content purr before turning to look up at Thomas with pleading eyes, meowing at him once more, as if he’s begging for Thomas to understand something.

Thomas smiles. “Now you stay here, okay? If you behave well, who knows, maybe Jogi will let you come to the hotel with us.”

The cat doesn’t wear a collar, so it’s likely that he doesn’t belong to anyone, even he is surprisingly well behaved.

One last meow later, Thomas walks back up to his teammates, joining the warm-up.

 

For about twenty minutes, even if Thomas doesn’t stop worrying about his boyfriend’s sudden disappearance,  everyone forgets about the cat. At least up until Marc-André lets out an uncharacteristic yelp as he drops to the ground clutching the ball during a short training game, quickly rolling to the side.

“I almost crushed it!” he yells, quickly trying to make sure that the cat is in fact, still alive.

“It’s a he,” Nikki supplies helpfully, but the cat only hisses at Marc before walking up to the ball, pawing at it with obvious interest.

Next to the goal, Andi’s eyes grow wide before he groans, making a few quick steps forward, trying to pick him up. The cat hisses louder, then quickly darts towards Thomas again, hiding behind his legs, baring his sharp teeth.

Mats smirks. “I think you got a new admirer, Mull,” he teases.

Thomas sighs.

“I’m sorry,” he says, even if he doesn’t know what for, but it feels compulsory with the way both the goalkeeper coach and Jogi are glaring at him.

“Is this your cat, Thomas?” Jogi asks.

Thomas rolls his eyes. “Why the hell would I bring a cat to international break, Joachim.”

Jogi doesn’t dignify that with an answer. The cat, unhelpfully, meows, then walks in between the goalposts again before dropping down on his butt, extending one paw into the air, as if demanding for another ball to be shot.

Bernd stifles a giggle. “Hey, Andi, maybe the cat could stand in for Manu, what do you think?”

Thomas is the only one who startles at his words, whipping his head around to look at the cat once more.

The cat blinks back at him with big, ice-blue eyes. Familiar eyes.

Thomas gulps. “What the fuck,” he whispers, causing Mats to shoot him a strange look, but he pays him no attention as he tentatively takes a few steps forward.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, so quietly probably no one but the cat can hear him. “Sweetheart, is that you?”

The cat meows, and it sounds so sad that Thomas’ heart breaks a little bit. When he opens his arms, it doesn’t hesitate to jump into them, licking at his chin with a tongue as rough as sandpaper.

Thomas buries his fingers in the short fur and for a second wonders if he’s gone completely crazy. Maybe someone put a drug into his food, who even knows. There’s no way that – but then, the cat bumps his nose against Thomas’ in the most gentle way, and suddenly, the thought he just seconds ago deemed crazy seems so much more likely to be true.

Because Thomas knows that gesture, knows it because he and Manu do it every time they reunite after a couple days of not seeing each other, just before leaning into a kiss. When he pulls back, staring at the cat, he realizes he knows every fleck in those heart-achingly human-looking eyes, better than he knows his own reflection.

When he looks up again, the whole team looks at him as if he’s just declared that he saw the aliens land on earth.

It makes him cradle the surprisingly heavy body even tighter, feeling the animal’s heartbeat against his own, faster and faster, as he scrambles for an explanation. He clears his throat.

“Um. I found him in front of the hotel yesterday.”

The first lie goes over his lips smoothly. “Almost got run over by a car when I was outside again because I couldn’t sleep, poor thing.”

He quickly continues when he sees that Jogi is about to scold him for leaving the hotel without security in the middle of the night. “I picked him up, carried him to the sidewalk. He must have seen me from afar today, maybe he came back to say thank you.”

“Yeah, meaning now you got a wild, homeless pet that imprinted on you. Wonderful.” Mats says laconically. Some players laugh.

Jogi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright, you know what? Whatever. Just make sure he doesn’t interfere with our training again. And for god’s sake, if you can’t get rid of him, then at least take him to a vet to make sure he can’t infect all of us with some deadly disease.”

Thomas nods, feeling numb.

“And Andi,” Jogi continues, “for fucks sake, find Manu.”

 

It’s seven hours later and everyone is ready to retreat to their rooms and eventually go to bed, and Manu still hasn’t turned up.

The cat still follows Thomas around wherever he goes. And with every second that the goalkeeper doesn’t make his presence known, Thomas grows more and more sure that it is actually his boyfriend – however that’s possible.

Thankfully, the team hotel does allow pets (“we usually only have dogs, though,” the confused receptionist has answered his slightly desperate question) and after a bit of a back and forth, the staff organized some bowls and cat food for Thomas’ new sidekick.

Thomas highly doubts the cat, if it really is Manu, would ever eat cat food. After a couple calls, he is able to organize a vet who comes to take a look at the cat and clears him shortly after. The cat sits patiently on the table during the examination but casts worrying glances at the needles.

By midnight, Jogi is ready to call the police, and it’s Andi who finally manages to calm him down.

“Listen, maybe there was a family emergency and he forgot to notify us. He mentioned that his grandfather was very sick yesterday, you know.”

Thomas has no idea how Jogi buys it, but somehow, he does. He decides to give Manu time until the next morning to make a call, and when he stomps away, Andi lets out a relieved breath.

Then he turns to Thomas.

“You’ve figured it out as well, haven’t you?”

Thomas blinks at him.

Andi points at the cat, who is staring at both of them with wide, terrified eyes. “That,” he says, “is Manuel, isn’t it.”

It’s not a question.

Thomas’ mouth drops. “How …?”

Andi runs a hand over his face. “It happened to a colleague of mine, back in the day, decades ago. You know how they often nickname us goalkeepers cats?”

Thomas nods, feeling numb.

“Apparently, sometimes, some of us turn into one.”

It sounds so ridiculous it might just be true. “Is this,” Thomas clears his throat, “is this gonna be permanent?”

That provokes a dry laugh from the older man. “Good god no! Just imagine. I like to think of it like a cold. Randomly, someone catches it, and after a couple days, it will pass.”

Manu meows. Thomas picks him up, marvels at the way he is able to curl up completely in his arms. He’s really big for a cat – which makes sense, since he’s really big for a human too – but it’s still strange to Thomas, who usually is barely able to fully wrap his arms around Manu’s broad shoulders.

“We have to tell Jogi,” he says, and Andi winces.

“Yeah, I guess that’s my job. You take care of your partner, alright?”

He chuckles when Thomas only gapes at him.

“You two are not nearly as subtle as you think. I’ve known Manuel forever – he wouldn’t be able to hide his infatuation from me if he tried. And with the way you fulfil his every wish ...”

With that, he leaves them with a wink.

 

Life with a cat as a boyfriend is surprisingly easy.

At the beginning, Jogi didn’t believe them, but when Thomas carefully placed Manu on the table before their coach’s laptop, and Manu continued to type his name out with clumsy paws, he had no choice other choice but to.

Olli almost fainted when they told him, but then he he informed the team that Manu had returned home because there had been a family emergency; and that was that.

Still, no one has stopped teasing Thomas for his furry little sidekick. At the beginning, Manu hardly left his side. Mats was usually the worst, making up cat pun after cat pun, until Manu looked mildly displeased and Thomas sighed and took him back to his room, reluctantly locking him in there for the rest of the day.

They’ve been sleeping on the same bed still, even if it of course isn’t the same as sleeping with your partner, and Thomas feels weird undressing in front of Manu, so he usually changes in the bathroom.

“It’s not the same, honey,” he once said when he had turned away his head as Manu wanted to nuzzle his cheek, and up until that moment, he wouldn’t have thought that a cat could look sad.

As said, at first, having a cat-shaped boyfriend is rather fun. Manu gets quickly distracted by Thomas shoelaces, still tries to catch every object you throw at him (usually a crumpled piece of paper or one of Thomas’ clean socks – he doesn’t want to hurt him, after all) and purrs adorably whenever Thomas pets his head. (He takes quite a bit of joy in the fact that he only ever purrs for him and none of their other teammates.)

But quickly, Thomas starts to miss the kisses they would sneak before training sessions or after breakfast, the hugs and being wrapped in Manu’s strong arms, the way they would fall asleep together with the blond’s head on Thomas’ chest.

By day three, Thomas feels exhausted and tired, both mentally and physically. He hasn’t been in the best shape in general, having caught the flu only a week before international break, and the fact that he now often lays awake at night, petting a sleeping Manu and wondering if things will ever go back to normal, doesn’t help at all.

Manu is dozing on the big armchair in the corner when Thomas returns from dinner. The staff organized a little bed for him, but at night he sleeps next to Thomas on the big bed, and during the day, he prefers other furniture to nap on.

He meows at Thomas as soon as he opens the door, jumping down from the chair in one graceful movement and rubbing against his legs.

“Hey, sweets,” Thomas mumbles, leaning down with a tired smile, “did you have a nice day?”

It’s a silly question. He knows Manu didn’t, considering all that he could do in the room was stare out of the window and observe his teammates train when he couldn’t.

Thomas sits down on the bed and smiles a little bit when Manu immediately jumps on his lap, nuzzling his stomach.

“You’re pretty cute, you know? Not like you aren’t always, but you get what I mean.” Manu whimpers a tiny bit. Thomas sighs. “You’re cute, but I really miss my boyfriend.”

Somehow, even the fact that they’re together doesn’t bring them any comfort. They fall asleep with Manu on Thomas’ chest that night, and for once, sleep finds Thomas quickly.

 

He wakes up again because he can’t breathe anymore.

At first he doesn’t get why, but then he realizes it’s because there’s a crushing weight pushing down on his chest. Usually, that would have made people panic, but Thomas instead cries out in excitement. Or he would have, if he had any breath left.

It’s dawning outside, light slowly seeping into the room, and there is a head of blond hair on Thomas’ chest and strong arms wrapped around his middle.

Normally, Manu would only rest his head on Thomas’ upper body to avoid to crush him, but now, he’s splayed all over him. He’s stark naked, Thomas notices with a blush, as the curve of his butt is presented to his keen eyes in all its shapely glory.

Before he can get too distracted, he musters up all the strength he can find in his body and tries to shove his boyfriend off him.

Manu doesn’t budge an inch.

“Manu!” Thomas croaks, poking his side. Slowly but surely, his head starts spinning a bit from the lack of air. “Manu, you’re crushing me!”

Manu grumbles, shifts slightly. Then, he groans. “Meow,” he makes, and if Thomas were in any position to, he would have let out a barking laugh. Instead, he sighs and lifts his hand.

He hits Manu over the head as gently as possible, but it’s enough to wake the goalkeeper up. Barely awake, he manages to squint open an eye, eyes growing wide as he sees Thomas under him, struggling to breath but greeting him with a crooked grin nevertheless.

He jumps up, squeaking “ohmygod I’m so sorry” before he realizes that he’s naked, hurrying to cover his private parts with his hands.

Thomas, intoxicated on the fresh air filling his lungs, lets out a dry cackle. “Nothing I haven’t seen before, love,” he coughs, grinning before leaning forward, framing Manu’s face in his hands, peppering kisses all over his cheeks, nose, chin and his cheekbones, before finally reaching his lips.

When they come up for air, he buries his nose in the crook of Manu’s neck, intoxicated by the taste of his skin, realizing how much he missed it.

“God I missed you,” Thomas mumbles, and Manu only hmms, pressing a kiss on his hair.

A silly grin finds the way onto Thomas’ lips when he registers how much his happy sigh sounds like a content purr.

 

**Author's Note:**

>   * I don't really know what this is, but I have wanted to write something like it for a long time
>   * Apparently 'Katze' is a common nickname for goalkeepers
>   * Link to [Cindy's drawing](https://marc-ter-stegen.tumblr.com/post/176338810997/catmanu-and-thomas) again cause it's lovely and you should look at it! 
>   * Thanks to Sevde for the ridiclously purrfect (an purrfectly ridiculous) title
>   * I write FICTION about real people. None of this is intended to harm them or their reputation in any way
> 

> 
> Please leave kudos and maybe a comment if you liked it! | [tumblr](http://manuelmueller.tumblr.com/)


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